a classic tale from gofugKARL LAGERFELD: Lens-monkeys! Snap me here standing with Wax Claudia.
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER: No, Karl, it's really me.
KARL: FLESH Claudia? Can it BE? My shock is written like the Kama Sutra on the page of my face. BOOKMARK IT. There will be an essay question. BRING CHEESE.
CLAUDIA: How are you, Karl? Are you enjoying yourself?
KARL: You look like a frail wedding cake sneezed on by an eagle, and this dildo bores me. TANGO.
CLAUDIA: Um, not right now. That's not a... that's an award, Karl. It's a trophy.
KARL: Pish. To be literal is to die. DREAM. BE the sex toy.
CLAUDIA: Maybe let's just get off-stage.
KARL: You are a vision of rigid ice. If I saw you in a harness I would say, "Hark! Send that woman a ham and some ointment."
CLAUDIA: This is getting awkward.
KARL: Embarrassment is the birthplace of lust, darling, and you are crowning. PUSH.
yes. just what i need this afternoon. yes yes yes.
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