These Chicks Don't Even Know the Name of My Blog

Soundtrack to Summer 09: Part Deux

2009-07-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Good Ol' Fashion Nightmare by Matt & Kim
Daylight by Matt & Kim
Islands On The Coast by Band of Horses
Floating In The Forth by Frightened Rabbit
Kids by MGMT
Little Secrets by Passion Pit
Loading Playlist...

The Worst Duos to Rely on to Save All of Humanity: The Competition Continues

2009-06-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

The Worst Duos to Rely on

to Save Humanity

Round 2

Jacob:

Chelsea:

Jacob:

Chelsea:

Jacob:

Chelsea:

which is equivalent to

Jacob:

Chelsea:

Jacob:

Chelsea:

Jacob:

Chelsea:

Jacob:

disqualified due to Whitney's already being used,

and Kostner's obvious ability to kick ass

Chelsea:

Jacob:

Chelsea:

As always, the final judgment call is yours, dear reader.

The Worst Duos to Rely on to Save All of Humanity: A Competition

2009-06-19T10:19:00.000-07:00

I believe the name of the challenge is sufficient to explain it.

Jacob and I have been going back and forth all morning.

Below is Round One.

The Worst Duos to Rely on

to Save Humanity

JACOB:

CHELSEA:

JACOB:

CHELSEA:

JACOB:

CHELSEA:

JACOB:

CHELSEA:

JACOB:

CHELSEA:

Who got served?

You be the judge!

Creeping toward Equality

2009-06-17T08:06:00.001-07:00

Okay, Obama.

This is a step in the right direction.

Obama to OK benefits for same-sex partners of federal workers

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Obama will sign a memorandum Wednesday granting health care and other benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees, two senior administration officials said.
The signing will take place in the Oval Office and follows sharp criticism of the president over a Justice Department motion filed last week in support of the Defense of Marriage Act -- which opposes same-sex marriage -- that used the government's interest in opposing incestuous marriages to support its position against same-sex marriage.

How the Lovely Have Fallen

2009-06-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

Fallen Princesses is a photo essay by Dina Goldstein that captured my attention today.

Put simply, I adore it.

These works place Fairy Tale characters in modern day scenarios. In all of the images the Princess is placed in an environment that articulates her conflict. The '...happily ever after' is replaced with a realistic outcome and addresses current issues.
The project was inspired by my observation of three-year-old girls, who were developing an interest in Disney's Fairy tales. As a new mother I have been able to get a close up look at the phenomenon of young girls fascinated with Princesses and their desire to dress up like them.

First spotted on yesterday's Geekologie blog.

Ed Westwick cast in Wuthering Heights Remake

2009-06-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

You know, this movie is probably going to blow.

And I'm probably going to see it in theatres.

I can't help it.

I love me some Chuck Bass.

He's the only one who ever does anything interesting on Gossip Girl.

Bond girl Gemma Arterton and Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick

to star in Wuthering Heights film

Recent Bond girl — and Royal Academy of Dramatic Art-trained actress — Gemma Arterton will star with Gossip Girl hunk Ed Westwick in the story of the complicated love between Cathy and Heathcliff.
Director Peter Webber hopes to begin filming Emily Bronte’s tale by the autumn.

Rumfy is a Girl!!

2009-06-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

We found out on Friday that our forthcoming little bundle of joy is a Rumfette!

Also, Mama Claudia is at 20 weeks along, right on schedule for a Halloween delivery!

20 Weeks Pregnant

Your Pregnancy: Week 20
Hooray! You're halfway there! And in case you don't believe 20 weeks is a milestone worth celebrating, consider that it's longer than a semester at college—or any relationship you had in high school. Congrats! This is also the week your bambino is able to flash you on the sonogram, revealing what exactly he or she is packing. Why not celebrate with a bottle of sparkling grapefruit juice? It's not as sexy as champagne, but it's got bubbles, and that counts for something, right?

Your Body
Stretch marks are the battle scars of pregnancy. They're caused by your skin stretching to accommodate your growing belly—a necessary evil! And it doesn't stop there. Other skin changes like acne and rashes are also common while pregnant. So if you're breaking out all over, you're not alone and it will go away.

Your Baby
Your baby has established sleep patterns akin to a newborn now. Many babies even have a favorite sleep position already. Some snooze with their chins resting on their chests, while others nap with their head flung back. Many babies at this age fall into noticeable cycles of sleep and activity, so you may know before she arrives whether you have a night owl or an early bird.

If your baby is a boy, the testes have begun descending from the pelvis into the scrotum. If it's a girl, her uterus is completely formed and the rest of her "parts" are in development. (Is that TMI?)

From this point forward, your baby will put most of her energy into gaining weight and, not coincidentally, so will you! Right now your baby weighs approximately 10½ ounces and is about 6½ inches long, about the size of a can of Red Bull (which has way too much caffeine for a pregnant woman to be drinking).

Soundtrack to the Summer... thus far..

2009-06-12T08:22:00.001-07:00

You! Me! Dancing! by Los Campesinos!
For The Price Of A Cup Of Tea by Belle & Sebastian
The World Should Revolve Around Me by Little Jackie
No One's Better Sake by Little Joy
28 Butts by Little Jackie
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You by Black Kids
Loading Playlist...

Contemplating the Necessity of Flawed Objects

2009-06-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

"There's always something we don't know...

They ask us from the outside to collaborate because they need the input of somebody who has skills and experience but who doesn't know everything--and that's exactly where we can think more freely and probably come up with something that's totally ridiculous. [laughs]

But sometimes that's where the breakthrough lies. The absolute expert knows what works and what doesn't too well already. So we have to be professionally unprofessional...

We make mistakes, and sometimes we simply don't know, and we overestimate what we can do, or we underestimate the difficulties. I think something very human happens there. Imagine a world of perfect objects: It would be terrible. We'd be bored, and it would be soulless...

It's these things you never think about, and they come up out of the blue, and suddenly they are the real dream projects."

-- Industrial Designer

Konstantin Grcic

in his interview with

David Coggins

Interview Magazine, May 2009

The World from On High

2009-06-05T10:15:00.001-07:00

Stephan Zirwes takes incredible photographs from 10,000 feet.

The world is a gorgeous, bustling geography.

See the "Zones and Fields" series in its entirety here.

Take a break from the everyday — and see the world from 10,000 feet — with Stephan Zirwes’s hypnotic series of aerial photographs, “Zones and Fields.”
You’ll see stunning shots of industrial areas, ski races, beaches, construction sites, and airfields — all of them taken from vertigo-inducing angles. Zirwes’s soccer fields look like foosball tables; his tropical islands resemble jellyfish; his world is full of striking patterns and beautiful geometries. We suggest that you view the series in full screen, that you turn the volume up — and enjoy your flight.

from 21 May 09 Very Short List.

I just had a cute-stroke

2009-06-05T08:36:00.000-07:00

Pygmy Jerboa.

A what?

I dunno, dude, but I want like 50 of 'em.

Nothing beats Chicago Women in the Summertime

2009-06-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

From the nearly-always spot-on Boner Party Tumblr

nothing beats chicago women in the summertime. nothing. i dont care where you’re from, who you know, any other advice you’ve heard along the way, the uplifting quotes youve heard and thought “hey that defines me”, any words of wisdom spoken by an elder, a parent, a loved one, anything. chicago women in the summer have lived through the winter and still have a little bit of the winter-beer-gut and you can blow farts on it alllll through the summer. its fucking rad. and you get to sit out on the back porch and drink beers and listen to whatever the fuck twee album Drag City just put out and chill the fuuuuck ouuuut. you cant do that in LA - nobody really has “porches” so to speak - and you cant do it in New York - well, sort of, but its “because some guy wants to make a point about porches” or some shit.
so heres to porches and chicago women. its the best of both worlds. wooden structures and milkfed 8’s from Eau Claire who can cook a decent omelette. fucking win.
(photo by the stephanie bassos)

New Regina!

2009-06-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

This album's gonna make my summer when it drops on 06/23/09.

You wait and see.

Preorder here.

Video for "Laughing With"

Cassette Tape Wallets!

2009-06-03T08:58:00.001-07:00

Wants it!

These cassette tape wallets from designboom are wallets made out of old cassette tapes. Pretty clever, but they cost $43.

from today's Geekologie Blog

Rumfy's Growth at 17 Weeks

2009-05-28T13:10:00.000-07:00

17 Weeks Pregnant

Your Body
Talk about mixed messages. After spending your whole life trying to avoid gaining weight, now you're told you must pack on the poundage. But not too many pounds, of course. And not the wrong kind of weight. It's exhausting. ... Now's not the time to diet. You should never try limiting calories while you're pregnant. Don't worry about gaining more weight than you should while pregnant. You can lose it after the baby is born. Remember that a pregnant woman needs about 300 extra calories each day, which is just a small snack, like a small bag of trail mix or some crackers with cheese.

Your Baby
Speaking of packing on the pounds, that what it's all about for baby this week. He's adding fat stores that will keep him warm and cozy after he's born. Your baby's weight will increase approximately six times over the next four weeks. Good to know you're not the only one tipping the scale. Also this week:
Your baby is hard at work honing his sucking and swallowing reflexes—all the better for eating that 2 AM (and 5 AM, and 8 AM ...) meal in a few months! The finger- and toenails are beginning to grow from their nail beds, which would explain why he'll need them trimmed almost as soon as he's born!
Your baby weighs nearly 5 ounces and is a little over 5 inches long—about the size of a baked potato (load on the butter and sour cream, please).

Your Life
If the heir to your throne will have his or her own room (instead of his or her own sock drawer), now is the time to start thinking about how you'd like to decorate the nursery.
Don't spend a fortune. CLAUDIA! These things will get barfed on, pooped on, and chewed on—and that's just in the first week. Choose durable and scrubable surfaces, such as nontoxic painted or varnished wood or heavy-duty, PVC-free plastics.
Try to buy regular furniture that will grow with your child. For example, a regular dresser with a removable changing pad is a better investment than an official diaper-changing table.
Decorate the nursery to hide dirt. That means forget about the white rug.
Splash out on a fabulous new robe or a comfy pair of slippers for yourself. You'll thank yourself during those early days at home ... and those late-night feedings.

Articulate, Straightforward Article on Gay Marriage by...Rob Thomas?

2009-05-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

Remember Matchbox 20?

Well, um, apparently there was something of a political braintrust hidden in there.

Check out this well-written, guileless Huffington Post article on gay marriage by non other than lead singer Rob Thomas.

It's one of the clearest, simplest supports I've yet heard.

Who knew, y'all?

The Big Gay Chip on My Shoulder
[excerpt]
I believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" has RHS, or revisionist history syndrome, and doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers were either atheist or at least could see, even in the 1700s, that all through Europe at the time, religion was the cause of so much persecution that they needed to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (I also find it funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was an addition made in 1954 during the communism scare of the McCarthy era. It's not surprising, however, knowing that these same people would punch me in the mouth if I called Jesus a Jew.)
I believe the fact that an atheist, who doesn't believe in God at all, is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is arbitrary. Are we to believe that anyone who doesn't live their life according to the King James Bible isn't protected by the same laws that protect those who do? Using the same argument that I've seen on the 700 Club, that would mean that Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim weddings are also null and void.
I believe that to deny this right to the gay population is to say to them, "this god is not your god and he doesn't love you." There isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Still, I'm amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing, to spend millions of dollars, in a recession, on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married, but when you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights to happiness are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?
...
The support of legalizing gay marriage is in no way meant to change the ideals of the section of Christians who believe that homosexuality is a sin. But we should refuse to let other people's ideals shape the way we live our lives. Each of us has a short ride on this earth and as long as we stay in our lane, and don't affect someone else's ride, we should be allowed to drive as we see fit.

Brad Pitt for Mayor of NOLA

2009-05-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

#11 is Really What Sold Me on the Idea.

This is hair I can believe in.

Thanks to Functional Chelsea for bringing this to our attention.

Reason #11 - Rebuilding
Rather than relying on Aussie eloquence and narrative creativity or malfunctioning federal and state agencies, Mr. Pitt, as our chief executive will, instead, lead us, the local Pittwomen and Pittmen, in the fight against blight, crime, poverty and lack of humor. Dressed in period costumes and assisted by experienced producers, set builders, make-up artists, and camera operators, this cast of thousands will launch our Renaissance epic in weekly reality sequels.

Get ready... Get set...

2009-05-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

The 2009 Montage is still six months away

(so you still have time to make your mark).

In the meanwhile, I made this little fluffy thing to tide us all over.

Music:
"After Hours" by We Are Scientists

Liberated and Unhappy

2009-05-26T10:31:00.001-07:00

This is pretty interesting reading from yesterday's NY Times.

Thanks to Anne G. for the alert to it.

Liberated and Unhappy

By ROSS DOUTHAT
Published: May 25, 2009
American women are wealthier, healthier and better educated than they were 30 years ago. They’re more likely to work outside the home, and more likely to earn salaries comparable to men’s when they do. They can leave abusive marriages and sue sexist employers. They enjoy unprecedented control over their own fertility. On some fronts — graduation rates, life expectancy and even job security — men look increasingly like the second sex.
...
The feminist will see evidence of a revolution interrupted, in which rising expectations are bumping against glass ceilings, breeding entirely justified resentments. The traditionalist will see evidence of a revolution gone awry, in which women have been pressured into lifestyles that run counter to their biological imperatives, and men have been liberated to embrace a piggish irresponsibility.
There’s evidence to fit each of these narratives. But there’s also room for both.
Feminists and traditionalists should be able to agree, for instance, that the structures of American society don’t make enough allowances for the particular challenges of motherhood. We can squabble forever about the choices that mothers ought to make, but the difficult work-parenthood juggle is here to stay. (Just ask Sarah and Todd Palin.) And there are all kinds of ways — from a more family-friendly tax code to a more accommodating educational system — that public policy can make that juggle easier. Conservatives and liberals won’t agree on the means, but they ought to agree on the end: a nation where it’s easier to balance work and child-rearing, however you think that balance should be struck.
They should also be able to agree that the steady advance of single motherhood threatens the interests and happiness of women. Here the public-policy options are limited; some kind of social stigma is a necessity. But a new-model stigma shouldn’t (and couldn’t) look like the old sexism. There’s no necessary reason why feminists and cultural conservatives can’t join forces — in the same way that they made common cause during the pornography wars of the 1980s — behind a social revolution that ostracizes serial baby-daddies and trophy-wife collectors as thoroughly as the “fallen women” of a more patriarchal age.
No reason, of course, save the fact that contemporary America doesn’t seem willing to accept sexual stigma, period. We simply don’t have the stomach for permanently ostracizing the sexually irresponsible — be they a pregnant starlet, a thrice-divorced tycoon, or even a prostitute-hiring politician.
In this sense, ours is a kinder, gentler, more forgiving country than it was 40 years ago. But for half the public, it’s an unhappier country as well.

Rumfy Belly Pics--16 Weeks

2009-05-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

Claud's bump at 16 Weeks Along!

Rumfy is 16 weeks along!

2009-05-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

And that means we're only a month away from knowing if it's a little boy Rumfola or a little girl Rumfola!

Grow, Rumfy, Grow!

16 Weeks Pregnant

Your Body

No, you don't have a new superpower, although it'll feel like it because you're able to smell pizza, burnt toast or a pulled-pork sandwich from miles away. Your heightened sense of smell isn't the only new trick your nose is doing. You're probably noticing some extra nasal congestion and maybe even some nosebleeds to go along with it....But enough about your nose. Let's talk about your ever-enlarging ta-tas. Your boobs might still be tender, especially your nipples, and they're continuing to grow, grow, grow.

Your Baby
Your baby is already mugging for the camera as she practices all sorts of facial expressions, such as squinting, yawning and grimacing, which will come in handy when you introduce her to pureed spinach. Check out what else is happening in utero:

You're just getting comfortable with being a new mom, but you're actually on the road to being a grandma. If your baby is a girl, her uterus is fully developed and the ovaries already hold primitive egg cells. Did that just make you feel a thousand years old, or what?

Your baby weighs about 3 ounces this week and measures between 4 and 5 inches, about the length of your mascara.

This is going to keep me from getting smushed by a car, you wait and see.

2009-05-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

Totally downloaded the Email 'n Walk app for my iPhone this morning.

I even paid $0.99 for it, because I need this.

You can shut up.

Email 'n Walk (free for a limited time) is frankly kind of a silly iPhone application, but I couldn't resist talking about it here. The idea is simple: start up Email 'n Walk, type in your subject, and start typing a message. While you write, Email 'n Walk uses your iPhone camera to show you what's in front of you so you don't run into anyone. I took it for a test run outside our offices here in San Francisco and even though it felt a little silly, the app works as advertised. When you're done, hit send and you'll be transferred to the iPhone mail app to add recipients and send your e-mail.

On the edge of a meltdown.

2009-05-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

If I don't soon own this $400 Nannette Lepore dress, I feel I will surely die of disappointment and dismay.

That is all for now.

Play Him Off!

2009-05-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

You guys, this cat has my life has changed forever. This is the funniest thing I have probably ever seen. I think sitting in a cube for hours a day is finally starting to take it's toll.
I just think about this and I start laughing.

This one sends me into a fit of tears.

Don't Care What Chuck Wore? You Should.

2009-05-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

The What Chuck Wore Tumblr is clever and features pictures of Ed Westwick.

What, you want sprinkles, too?

Just go. Go.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, poor man’s Waldorf. Have you noticed that my suit jacket is covered in sequins? How could you not? Waldorf 1.0, it seems that you’re somewhat perturbed by the whole situation. Maybe you’re just trying to process the awesomeness of the jacket. Do I dazzle you, Waldorf? Do I?”

Courtesy of Patti.

Pulp Art Photography

2009-05-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

The cheeky photographs of Thomas Allen are my new favorite thing.

I want to own them all all all.

ALL FOR ME!

Viewfinder, 2006 - 20 x 24 inches chromogenic Print

American photographer Thomas Allen constructs witty and clever dioramas using figures cut from the covers of old pulp paperbacks. Using salacious pulp art drawing’s of the ’40s and ’50s that covered books such as ” I Married a Dead Man” and ” Marihuana Girl’, Allen constructs one set of pictures up close while obscuring another, and in the process creates a different context. Each piece is given a brand new storyline, though never quite strays from their cheeky origins.

Uncovered, 2006, 20 x 24 inches - chromogenic Print

Rumfy is 14 weeks along

2009-05-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

Looking less like a weasel and more like a little monkey these days.

Way to grow, baby!

14 Weeks Pregnant

Your Pregnancy: Week 14
You're officially in your glory days: the second trimester. Energy levels come back up, nausea levels go down and you may have a cute little bump that's beginning to show. It's a great time to celebrate the happy news ... if people haven't guessed already. And you'll be surprised at how oblivious some folks are.

Your Body
You have reached the light at the end of the tunnel. Well, the light at the end of the firsttunnel (there will be more). Chances are good that you're feeling as good as you've felt in weeks. If you're not feeling it yet, don't worry, it'll come soon.
If you're feeling little contractions or pulling and stretching sensations this week, don't panic. It's just your ligaments stretching and your organs moving to accommodate your growing baby. (Don't worry, your organs will all plop back into place shortly after Junior is born.)

Your Baby
Think of it this way: You're a third of the way through and baby's a third of the way cooked. Now that the "big stuff" (like skeletal and organ development) is taken care of, your baby starts a period of rapid brain growth, fat buildup and detail work. Highlights this week include:

Your baby now has fingerprints! Book 'em, Danno! Believe it or not, he actually created them himself while swimming around in the amniotic fluid. As he moved his hands, the skin on the tips of his fingers formed unique ridges and folds. That's why no one on earth has the same fingerprints, not even identical twins! Cool, right? Baby's arms are now in proportion to his tiny body, but his legs are still on the short size in comparison.

Your baby continues to gain new and impressive skills such as practicing and controlling voluntary muscle movements (this will help him fling food across the room later in life). Your tiny dancer's movements are no longer the jerky, uncontrollable twitches of yore—he now moves with graceful control.

Your baby is now weighs about an ounce and is the length of a flip phone, or roughly 3.5 inches—he's tripled in size from a mere three weeks ago! Luckily, you haven't done the same.

SWINTON.

2009-05-03T14:53:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who's obsessed with GFY's love/hate for Tilda Swinton??

Listen and Learn

2009-05-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

If you know me at all, you know how much I love Joe Pug's music.

If you're in Chicago, you need to be a Schuba's tonight or tomorrow night to hear him play.

This is a cool thing that happened that I TOTALLY missed out on because I was doing theatre.

What else is new?

Chicago Public Radio: One Musician Discovers it Pays to be Free

6 Concerts in 6 Hours

Singer-songwriter and former carpenter Joe Pug wanted to make a living as an artist, but was low on cash and needed to grow his fanbase in economical ways. And then he decided to giveaway his art. Music critic Althea Legaspi rode along with Joe Pug one Friday night to learn more about this concept.

And here's the YouTube video of it all going down:

2008 Montage

2009-05-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

NYC Montage

2009-05-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

Geeks with Edge

2009-05-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when nerds get inked:

Science Tattoo Emporium

"Leave the atoms and come to the earth."

"My favorite thing from my undergrad classes has been learning about quantum mechanics."

From the Discover Blog.

How to Be a Bat

2009-05-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

How To Be A Bat [Life in Motion]

This is too cool. Watch videos of bats (even VAMPIRE BATS!) doing all kinds of cool stuff like flying and...running. No, really. Watch 'em.

Bat on flower from Carl Zimmer on Vimeo.

From the Discover Blog.

Swine Flu, Schmine Flu

2009-04-30T10:48:00.001-07:00

The Porkgasm
Bacon strips, bacon sausage, ham sausage, ham slices, smoked pork sausage and roasted pork belly surrounded by ground sausage shaped into a pig, wrapped in bacon and roasted. Garnished with chili ears and tail.

If THIS doesn't get people eating pork again, I don't know WHAT will!

THIS JUST IN!

2009-04-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

Three Fingered On Class Trip To Washington, D.C.

Less than 24 hours into their class trip to Washington D.C., ninth-graders from Middleton Junior High School are reporting that three of their female classmates have been fingered.

"I knew Jared was fingering her," classmate Matt Shearer told reporters. "They were laughing with each other and then they got real quiet."
Added Shearer, "Before the trip Jared said he was going to finger her."

While the official count remains at three, students speculated that as many as 20 of their classmates have been or will be fingered before the trip's end. However, ninth-grade sources have ruled out any chance of 15-year-old Emily Blankenship being fingered, felt up, or even touched, for that matter.

from The Onion.

What a great trip for American's youth.

Aw, look at the twee hipsters!

2009-04-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

Lauren actually found the Look At This Fucking Hipster tumblr, but she's like waaaay tooooo busy to post her findings on this blog that is 1/4 hers.

So I'm sharing it.

Bwahahahahaa.

“There better be some torn leggings, bruised thighs, and tattered cowboy boots under that blanket, or we are out of here.”

Pour one out for Bea

2009-04-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

Ever since Bea Arthur has passed, I've been watching episodes of "The Golden Girls" on YouTube. I love that show more than I love a eating a slice of cheesecake in the middle of the night because "I'm just so upset" while wearing my floor-length nightgown with floral robe. (Seriously, EVER OTHER EPISODE. LOVES IT.)

But here, I would like to encourage everyone to watch Bea and Rock Hudson, gay icon extraordinares, sing this little ditty.

Holler at Estelle for me, Bea.

In Tribute to Bea

2009-04-27T14:03:00.000-07:00

There is just nothing to say about this.

Nothing does it justice.

Bea, you classy classy broad, you will be missed.

Pregnant Women are Smug

2009-04-27T11:17:00.001-07:00

This one comes to us courtesy of Patti McGrath.

Thanks, Patti.

You've never even met Claudia, and yet you know her so well.

Keeping up with Rumfy--Week 13!

2009-04-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

This little alien weasel is actually starting to resemble a mini-human!

13 Weeks Pregnant

Your Pregnancy: Week 13
Welcome to the last week of your first trimester. Any day now you'll start to feel your energy (and libido!) return. You may even be able to hold down a bite of food. Imagine that!

Your Body
Say hello to the girls! Your boobs are probably looking pretty glorious at this point. You can thank your hormones for your newfound cleavage. (Yes, those same hormones that had you hugging the porcelain throne for the past 12 weeks. See, they're not all bad!) Estrogen and progesterone are stimulating the milk-producing glands in your boobs and making them grow, grow, grow. Your belly may be popping out a bit now as well. If you're feeling "huge" already, just wait. You ain't seen nothing yet!

Your Baby
Your baby can make a fist and even suck his or her thumb this week—both skills that are über-cute during infancy ... and not so much at the age of 9. If you're really lucky, you might catch a glimpse of baby's thumb sucking on an ultrasound photo. That's a framer! Other exciting developments include:

Your baby's eyelids are fused shut to protect his eyes as they develop. His bones and skull are solidifying and soon itsy-bitsy ribs may appear. (Baby ribs! How cute is that?!) Baby's intestines are finally right where you want them—in his or her belly instead of poking out into the umbilical cord. Baby's tooth sockets are all loaded and ready to pop out baby teeth six or seven months after baby is born (causing baby a lot of pain and you a lot of lost sleep).

Your baby-to-be now weighs about 20 grams and is nearly 3 inches long, or about the size of a Nutter Butter, covered in chocolate. OK, it doesn't have to be covered in chocolate, but isn't everything better that way?

Rumfy is now 12 weeks formed!

2009-04-22T09:30:00.001-07:00

That means Claudia is at the end of her first trimester and might possibly stop bitching about everything all the damn time.

Looooove Yoooou!

12 Weeks Pregnant

Your Body
You can barely brush your teeth without gagging so the mere thought of visiting the dentist may make you retch. Still, healthy teeth and gums are especially important during pregnancy as poor dental care can lead to a variety of problems such as pregnancy-related gingivitis and periodontal disease, neither of which sound like any fun at all. Plus, poor dental health during pregnancy has been associated with premature and low-birth-weight babies.

Book an appointment, but be sure to let your dentist know you're expecting, so you can avoid dental X-rays. If you notice strange lumps on your gums, don't worry. It's just another perk of being preggo. Many women develop harmless, non-cancerous oral tumors when pregnant. And just when you were feeling really sexy ...

Your Baby
Baby's face is looking more human as his eyes have moved to the front of his head and his ears are in place. Hooray! Other amazing fetal highlights this week:

Your baby is able to swallow this week and practices on the amniotic fluid he or she floats in. (And you thought baby food was kind of nasty!) And in case you're wondering how your kid can breathe in all that fluid, here's your answer: Fetuses get oxygen from the blood pumped into their bodies by the placenta and don't breathe with their lungs. Mystery solved!

Junior has doubled in size over the past two weeks and now weighs almost ½ ounce. He's also now around 2 ½ inches long, about the length of your pinky finger or a Vienna sausage, which, in a few months, will be indistinguishable from one another.

Lifetime, Wow

2009-04-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday night in the Marcantel/Wint abode and damnit, we're watching the Nora Roberts' "Midnight Bayou" on Lifetime. Three letters: DVR.

Here's the recap according to Lifetime:

In the Nora Roberts movie "Midnight Bayou," Harvard-educated lawyer Declan Fitzpatrick (Jerry O'Connell) impulsively gives up his settled life to buy Manet Hall, a newly restored plantation manor near New Orleans to which he has always found himself drawn. Legend has it that the house is haunted, and shortly after Declan moves in he starts hearing voices and seeing things. Declan is also distracted by an undeniable attraction to Cajun local Lena Simone (Lauren Stamile), who grew up on the bayou with her grandmother Odette (Faye Dunaway) and has her own deep connection to the manor. Living in the house, Declan begins to have visions from a century past and details of events that took place in the mansion. With the help of Odette, Declan and Lena realize that they are inextricably linked with Manet Hall and uncover a shocking secret that has been hidden there for more than 100 years. (The "Midnight Bayou" movie is based on the Nora Roberts book title of the same name.)

Ya'll, this is THE BEST THING WE'VE EVER WATCHED. EVER. EVER.

The end.

Bai Ling interviews read like transcripts from Insanityland

2009-04-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

The San Francisco Chronicle recently had the balls to ask Bai Ling five entire questions.

The answers are made of sweet, sweet crazy (check it out here).

Q: What are these "Band-Aids of Truth" you wear on your legs?
A: I have a little spirit (who talks to me); she's crazy, extreme and she has her own little world and does whatever she wants to do, a show-off. I use the Band-Aids and I write messages. I just write things so unique, and you know when you have a scar you can't hide it, so I make kind of a trend. I was filming a movie with Ben Affleck and Rebecca Romijn ("Man About Town"). We were fighting - like a girl fight on the floor - and I scratched myself here (pointing to her knee), so I went to this event and I put a Band-Aid on. It was so ugly, so I cut Brad Pitt's head here and the other side was Quentin Tarantino.

I must MUST have her book, Nipples (yes, really), when it emerges!

Let's make this happen.

There is also an amazing Movieline interview for us here.

Q: What kind of movies would you like to make if you could have your choice?

A: I deserve so much more than the roles I get offered now. I’m one of the best actresses. One day I will win an Oscar. I’m already winning it. I just have to find the platform to show it. I’m already winning it! I’ve got that talent.

And thanks to the GFY gals for alerting me to these wondermous chattings.

Man. French people are rude.

2009-04-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

Incroyable et formidable!
KANGOUROU (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

You Pretty Much Gotta See This

2009-04-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

Because we all need each other.

Stand By Me from David Johnson on Vimeo.

never gonna give never gonna give YOU UP

2009-04-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

I will never:
a) give you up.
b) let you down.
c) run around or desert you.
d) never make you cry.
e) never say goodbye.
f) never gonna a tell a lie and hurt you.

Same goes for The Muppets.

So, if you didn't know it, Claudia is 11 weeks pregnant

2009-04-14T07:07:00.001-07:00

This is a very exciting time for all of us Chicks!

Not to mention that by this week, "Rumfy" (the pre-child) has begun to look much more like a baby than an alien weasel.

We've been monitoring his/her progress on this site:

11 Weeks Pregnant

Your Baby
All of your baby's vital organs are now formed and functioning, so the risk of defects decreases this week as your baby becomes less susceptible to outside influences. Phew! Other exciting developments include:

Baby's ears are assuming their proper place this week and the fingernail and toenail beds are beginning to form. Your little "pumpkin head" really lives up to his nickname as his head is nearly as big as the rest of his body.

Your baby now weighs a third of an ounce, about the same as two small, Starbucks-sized packets of sugar, is about 2 inches long, the length of one of those sugar packets. Isn't that sweet?

We still have another 9 weeks before we'll know Rumfy's gender for sure, but I just feel like we have a girl on the way.

Claudia promised to post the first-ever photo of the baby later today.

I don't know why the one on the far left just REFUSES to cooperate.

2009-04-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Harumph.

Stupid nature.

I don't super-care about Mel, but this picture just came outta nowhere

2009-04-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

from The Superficial today:

Mel Gibson's wife wants a divorce

"She divorced the guy who made The Passion of the Christ on Good Friday? I hope she learned the secret of his seven herbs and spices because he's definitely not telling her now. The Colonel holds no quarter for blasphemers!"

Har har.

Happy Egg Salad Monday, everyone.

Jason Webley Rocked the Empty Bottle last night

2009-04-09T10:52:00.001-07:00

Ash and I were trombones.

I don't understand it, but I think it's groovy.

2009-04-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

It's an excellent example of going down with the ship.

2009-04-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

I can just envision a group of people huddled around the alarm, building aflame around them, arguing over who has to pull it, thus alerting everyone else in the building and forfeiting his/her life.

I mean, really.

Some things...really.

Addendum to Val Day Mix post

2009-04-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

I just need to say that if we did it over again, I'd mos def include "Crazy Bout Ya" by Cowboy Mouth on the Vday mix. I love everything about that song.

How to be Cool.

2009-04-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

That's how.

If this doesn't make you smile, I give up.

2009-04-06T13:24:00.000-07:00

Just turn your speakers on and watch it.

Thanks, T&L.

Helpfully Hilarious

2009-04-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

From today's Thrillist, meet

Tame the Bear.

Started by a UofC alum recently axed from his TV comedy writing gig, TTB posts articles, vids, and screeds offering topical tidbits ranging from actually useful to mirthfully useless, all under the mantra “The economy is like p*rn: We don’t care why it works, just as long as it makes our pockets chubby”.

Today's front page headlines include:

Alien Snuggie
Hey Economy! Up Yours!
Free Crap!
To Shake, or Not to Shake That Money Maker
The Robot Uprising Is Upon Us
When Twitter Blows Up in Your Face (see my post from yesterday)
Tax Tips from an Angry Old Man

I've been fiddling around on this site for a little bit now, and I find it to be an intelligent mix of hysterical spoof and practical advice.

But don't take my word for it.

Visit today!

Recession Got You Down? SUCK IT UP!

2009-04-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

Two short articles (op-eds?) from Drew McLellan of McLellan Marketing Group.

Seemed pretty insightful to yours truly.

Shame on you advertisers!

As you'll recall, I said I thought it was up to the businesses of this country to ignore the doomsday talk and get out there and behave our way out of the recession. We need to be smart but we need to grow our businesses just like we've always done. By investing in good people, good products and good services.
So that's why I find some of the recent ads I've seen so alarming.
...
A local ad here from a company that sells pool tables and accessories has the owner on camera, talking about he's taken a beating during the recession...so he is being forced to sell his wares practically at cost, just to pay the wholesaler's note.
Come on!
For a very small group of people, that's a true statement. But when the media...and now the advertising constantly tells all of us that we should be dismal and dread our mail -- we are just adding to the malaise of this country. We're making it worse.

I think I'll start behaving my way out of this recession right now!

(by shopping)

Choose your next words carefully

2009-04-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

SICK.

TRUTH.

This is what I keep telling you fools.

I DON'T CARE what some girl from my sixth-grade class is doing every second of every day, and I REFUSE to believe that she cares about my life!

I am hostile toward Twitter.

My mom's on Facebook.

I feel I know too much already.

if you like it then you should've put it on youtube

2009-03-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

So I know the Single Ladies dance is SO last year (and SO played out), but please check out the undergrads at my academic institution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjnpIeBXuy8

(Oh, that place they are? That's Emerson's permanent Castle campus in Well, Netherlands.)

News Relevant to My Life

2009-03-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

As reported on the front page of The Onion this week,

Everything Taking Too Long

People across the country were forced to put up with this maddeningly slow bullshit all week.

WASHINGTON—An overwhelming sense of restlessness and impatience engulfed the U.S. this week when citizens determined that everything—the morning commute, phone conversations, getting a table at Chili's, making coffee, commercial breaks, everything—was taking entirely too long.
...
"This is ridiculous," said Boston resident Joe Sosnoff, waiting for a subway train running behind schedule. "I don't have time for this. I seriously do not have time for this.

"Between eye rolls, sighs, and repeated glances at wall clocks, a majority of Americans are reporting that the nation badly needs to pick up the pace. In some cases, including those where things are taking so long that it's not even funny, citizens urged all present to hurry the hell up.

According to the latest time estimates, if everything continues to move along at this intolerable pace, Americans will be left with no other choice but to scream.

Sick Truth.

From One of the Most Beloved Books of My Childhood...

2009-03-25T12:38:00.001-07:00

Inside every one of us, there is a wild thing.

And I'm stoked that the monsters aren't CGI nonsense.

Pictures of Chicago as I've never seen her

2009-03-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

This brand new photoblog is rockin' my socks this morning.

Check out The Windy Pixel.

Photo by Mike Boehmer

Even if you're doing something else.

Photo by Justin Kern

Cassette Tape Art

2009-03-23T14:25:00.001-07:00

Found this on Geekologie today.

These artists use old cassette tapes as media.

Bitchin'.

Ghost in the Machine: gallery here

Brian Dettmer: article here

This is what I'll be using my tax refund for

2009-03-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

Ceci

cela

Merci beaucoup, Nonc Sam!

let's make a pact

2009-03-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

It's Monday. It's not too late.

Tragedy strikes

2009-03-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Hughes, Sylvia Plath’s son commits suicide

full Times article here

The son of the poets Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath has taken his own life, 46 years after his mother gassed herself while he slept.
Nicholas Hughes hanged himself at his home in Alaska after battling against depression for some time, his sister Frieda said yesterday.
...
Plath’s friend, the poet and critic Al Alvarez, once said: “I would love to think that the culture’s fascination is because Plath is a great and major poet, which she is. But it wouldn’t be true. It is because people are wildly interested in scandal and gossip.”
...
A family friend said last night: “Nick wasn’t just the baby son of Plath and Hughes and it would be wrong to think of him as some kind of inevitably tragic figure. He was a man who reached his mid-forties, an adventurous marine biologist with a distinguished academic career behind him and a host of friends and achievements in his own right. That is the man who is mourned by those who knew him.”

It's utterly sad, yes.

But I must admit I'm one of those people who's fascinated by the cult of this family.

This one's for Lauren...

2009-03-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

It's like Easy Cheese, only it's organic...and pancakes! Go here to watch a demo video and read customer testimonials.

Today is an Ike Turner day

2009-03-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

It's gorgeous and sunny and warm(ish) outside, and I know yesterday I was wearing my down coat and everything, but

YOU DON'T KNOW CHICACO LIKE I DO!

I LOVE HIM!!

(kudos to IL Airship)

best news ever

2009-03-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

From the Sun-Times...

We've heard rumblings about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel splitting before, but not for a long time. Despite the usual pooh-poohing denials from the stars' official camps, two friends of the ''J's'' (as a longtime Biel buddy calls them) insist there are problems in paradise.

While the duo are still living together, Biel's friend reports, ''Things are not going as smoothly as [Biel and Timberlake] would want people to think they are.''

YOU GUYS! YES! I'M IN! FINALLY. AFTER 10 YEARS. HE WILL BE MIIIIIIIIINNNNEEEE!!

(shakes fist to the gods, David Sedaris style).

Biel can suck it.

Futursex and Lovesounds-

Smashes

Who Didn't See THIS Coming?

2009-03-18T13:35:00.001-07:00

That bitch always was lean, mean, and loony-tunes.

And now Kenley from PR5

is behind bars!!

She, um, threw a cat at her ex-fiancé.

Uncles Tom and Lorenzo laid it all out for us on Project Rungay today, via TMZ.

Flippin' Fantastic!

I'm sure she's going to blame this on growing up on a tugboat.

Do you know how BIG A BUS IS?

2009-03-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

This is the best thing that's ever happened to buses, storage, television, and drunks.

Ever.

In the history of history.

And I also like that we are all his friends from the get-go.

Peep more awesomeness at the website he so lovingly directs us to.

The first sentences of the website's welcome page are:

"Tobias R. Jones, "Toby", [sic] grew up idolizing his favorite hood rapper Pokey Da Hot Spitta. He followed his idol's life and gained employment as a Street Pharmaceutical Sales Rep [ed's note: drug dealer] in 2003. Toby held on to that job for a year before he saw his Distribution Manager [ed's note: oh, sure] get shot. Toby realized that the street life was not for him."

Good call, Toby.

You can't make this shit up.

Credit for finding this gem goes to my friend GD Kimble in NYC.

(And PS, sadly, this guy is a Chicago-area comic who doesn't actually store anything anywheres.)

Wants It :: Lit Alert

2009-03-18T08:20:00.001-07:00

I read about Craig Taylor in this month's INTERVIEW.

He's only 32 and looks like a cute accountant.

I want his book.

Big time.

As seen in the Guardian, these short, evocative works based on overheard conversations in cities and towns across the country, Craig Taylor captures the state we’re in with humour and pathos and perfect timing.

A lonely pensioner desperately tries to communicate with a young immigrant; a funeral director’s love of Manchester United proves unhelpful when negotiating with the bereaved; two overly-vigilant mothers wrestle with their paranoia in the queue for Santa’s Grotto; a widow recounts her disastrous return to the world of dating and a father realises his son is growing away from him as he helps him tie his football boots.

Sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking, these tiny plays in which every one of us could have a starring role are windows into other people’s lives that reveal the triumphs, disasters, prejudices, horrors and joys of twenty-first-century life in Britain.
(review is here)

Here's one tiny play in a bookshop.

Here's one tiny play starring bankers.

They make excellent studies in dialogue construction and are by turns hilarious and poignant.

Gimme!

Nuff Said.

2009-03-16T13:47:00.001-07:00

It's bigger (read: better) here.

Well Phrased, You

2009-03-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know who wrote this.

I found it after I clicked through a handful of blogs, linking blogroll-to-blogroll, Choose Your Own Adventure!-style.

Fauxhawk and I are going to his cousin's wedding in a few weeks, and I'd like to say, for the record, that it is extremely inconsiderate of his relatives to plan a wedding during the Uglies. For those of you who live in California, Florida or any of the warm countries, the Uglies consist of the second half of December, all of January, February, and March and most of April, when office workers from the Northeastern United States transform into pale, disgruntled, elephantine creatures...So you see, if Fauxhawk's family had chosen to celebrate their nuptials in July, or even September, I might have had a fighting chance. I might have had something cute to wear. Instead, I will have to fashion some sort of tarp around my naked form and be vigilant about revealing back fat.

And I like the featured jewelry.

Read the whole post here.

Anyway, it's amazingly well-put.

True-ché, Persephone. True-ché.

HEY! CUT THAT OUT!

2009-03-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

First off, this movie looks HORRENDOUS,

and second off, it most DEF did not come out last summer.

http://www.georgianicolson.com/latest.html

Ugh.

Some more of our sacred, sacred young adult fiction massacred and maimed.

Erlack!

geeky cool

2009-03-13T14:34:00.001-07:00

If you wanted to know what that guy from Evil Squirrel looks like in his home environment, here's the only chance you'll likely ever have to see it.

I wonder who they'll profile next.

Wired.com's new "Secret Lives" series looks at individuals you encounter every day and reveals a side of them you normally wouldn't see.
What better profession to begin with than the comic store employee? And what better time to start than now, as the WonderCon comic convention invades San Francisco this weekend?
From the sassy princess of underground comics to the pajama-wearing ex-convict, your local pulp-pushers are anything but ordinary. We've profiled nine comic crusaders, five from New York and four from the San Francisco Bay Area, photographing them in their shops and at home. We asked each employee roughly the same questions, and their responses are published alongside their photos.

The pictures almost make me want to work in a comic book store.

Almost.

It's just that they make it look like the new Empire Records.

"Sinead O'Rebellion! Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior."

Ashley and I are ankles-deep in "My So-Called Life" on DVD

2009-03-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

"Excuse me, but people throwing themselves at people is, like, THE basis of civilization."

--Rayanne Graff.

You know what I would really like? To be put out of my misery."

-- Angela Chase

(there is nothing all THAT wrong with her life at the above moment)

Gallagher vs. Cobain

2009-03-12T14:07:00.000-07:00

This struck me as funny.

And...kinda true.

Noel Gallagher of Oasis, while a fan of Nirvana, wrote music that refuted the pessimistic nature of grunge. Gallagher noted in 2006 that the 1994 Oasis single "Live Forever":

"was written in the middle of grunge and all that, and I remember Nirvana had a tune called 'I Hate Myself and I Want to Die,' and I was like . . . 'Well, I'm not fucking having that.' As much as I fucking like him [Cobain] and all that shit, I'm not having that. I can't have people like that coming over here, on smack, fucking saying that they hate themselves and they wanna die. That's fucking rubbish."

(from the Wikipedia entry for "Grunge Music")

I don't like mopey people, either, though I do like Nirvana.

Just, you know, keep shit in perspective.

This cake is counter-productive, I feel.

2009-03-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

As it makes me want to eat crawfish, not cake.

And I think my taste buds would be in for a rude awakening upon the first bite.

Also, if the inside doesn't have a bunch of little crawfish and corn and potatoes in it, then I want nothing to do with this.

This is, of course, a groom's cake from Southwest Louisiana.

My dad emailed it to me.

Everyone remember THIS GUY??

2009-03-12T12:27:00.001-07:00

SCARY JESUS FROM SACRED HEART?!?!

Man, this painting scared the be-himself out of me every time I went in that place. It was like he could see into my soul and Scary Jesus WAS NOT HAPPY with its contents.

I just Google stalked him to see if I could find a picture on the internets, and there he was in some woman's Flickr set about her son's first communion.

SCARY JESUS IS WATCHING YOU, TIMMY.

BEST YOU LEARN THAT NOW.

deeper into the curry coma i fall

2009-03-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Anthony (Tony, as I like to call you) Bourdain-

I love you so much. Like you're my bad ass uncle that I can drink with and stay up until 3am hearing all your crazy stories about travel and your crazy drug use in NYC in the 70s. I love night like those, Uncle Tony. What I really like, is when we rip on other culinary TV shows and the personalities on them together. Sigh. Good times Uncle T. Good times.
There is none that irks me more than Sandra Lee from Semi-Homemade. There is something, nay, EVERYTHING, about this show and this woman that makes me shudder and turn the channel before my eyes bleed. Uncle T, you get it. Here's what you think:

(omg you guys! the stepford wife stole my soul.)

Culinary Picks and Pans
"Semi-Homemade Cooking With Sandra Lee" (Food Network)

It's safe to say that former infomercial queen Sandra Lee is not held in high regard by the culinary establishment. After all, Lee's "semi-homemade" cooking concept -- which calls for the use of store-bought, ready-made food... more -- runs counter to many of the beliefs espoused by serious chefs and food lovers, who believe that all Americans can and should prepare their own meals with fresh ingredients. Nevertheless, Sandra Lee's approach to cooking, in addition to her good looks and middle America appeal, has made her a popular TV host and successful cookbook author. Just don't expect her to appear as a guest on "Martha" any time soon.

Anthony Bourdain: She makes her audience feel good about themselves. You watch her on that show and you think, "I can do that. That's not intimidating." All you have to do is waddle into the kitchen, open a can of crap and spread it on some other crap that you bought at the supermarket. And then you've done something really special. The most terrifying thing I've seen is her making a Kwanzaa cake. Watch that clip and tell me your eyeballs don't burst into flames. It's a war crime on television. You'll scream.

Bourdain. I heart thee. Call me. We'll drink until we can't feel feelings. I promise.

Hugs, Beer, Cigarettes and Pork Meat-

Miss Wint

in my curry coma

2009-03-11T13:05:00.001-07:00

a classic tale from gofug

KARL LAGERFELD: Lens-monkeys! Snap me here standing with Wax Claudia.

CLAUDIA SCHIFFER: No, Karl, it's really me.

KARL: FLESH Claudia? Can it BE? My shock is written like the Kama Sutra on the page of my face. BOOKMARK IT. There will be an essay question. BRING CHEESE.

CLAUDIA: How are you, Karl? Are you enjoying yourself?

KARL: You look like a frail wedding cake sneezed on by an eagle, and this dildo bores me. TANGO.

CLAUDIA: Um, not right now. That's not a... that's an award, Karl. It's a trophy.

KARL: Pish. To be literal is to die. DREAM. BE the sex toy.

CLAUDIA: Maybe let's just get off-stage.

KARL: You are a vision of rigid ice. If I saw you in a harness I would say, "Hark! Send that woman a ham and some ointment."

CLAUDIA: This is getting awkward.

KARL: Embarrassment is the birthplace of lust, darling, and you are crowning. PUSH.

yes. just what i need this afternoon. yes yes yes.

When Blago met Mamet

2009-03-11T09:12:00.001-07:00

This article from Salon.com is about three months old, but I was just told about it this past weekend.

Glengarry Rod Blagojevich

If David Mamet didn't write the profane, wiretapped dialogue for the Illinois governor's attempt to sell Obama's Senate seat, he should have. A play in one act.

It's probably funniest if you're a theatre person who lives in Illinois, which I am, but I think it transcends even those parameters. If nothing else, you can marvel at how the residents of my adopted state could have elected a public official who has the mouth of a pirate.

Also, this brings up a Sophie's choice for me, in that if both Blago and Mamet were on fire on the side of the road, I'd have a hard time deciding which to pee on. I'm not a big fan of either.

Hence, I lurve this article.

Go-Bama!

2009-03-11T08:58:00.001-07:00

I'm so pumped about this, even if that Valerie Jarrett has a bit of crazy-face.

Obama Creates White House Women's Council

President Obama will sign an executive order tomorrow to establish a White House Council on Women and Girls, according to an administration official familiar with the move... "The mission of the Council will be to provide a coordinated federal response to the challenges confronted by women and girls to ensure that all Cabinet and Cabinet-level agencies consider how their policies and programs impact women and families," reads a memo describing the move and obtained by The Fix.

That's change I can believe in.

I'm also pretty appalled that this hasn't existed in some incarnation UNTIL the year 2009.

To Infinity, and Beyond!

2009-03-11T08:18:00.001-07:00

I dare you not to have fun with this.

It's some kind of fractal.

Just go.

Gerard Ferrandez’s Click Bored is a Web toy that doubles as a time machine: Click once, and ten minutes of your life disappears.

Play.

It's special.

(from today's Very Short List)

Ha! Oh, Joni Mitchell Humor!

2009-03-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

This IL Airship Tumblr from a few days ago really cracked me up.

And, knowing our shared affinity for Joni

--she taught your cold English wife how to feel!--

I thought I'd share.

"I was in Walgreens picking up a prescription when Big Yellow Taxi came on over the store radio and I almost collapsed from the irony. Was it you guys? You got an awful big parking lot."

Funny.

I have the saaaadest liiiife.

2009-03-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I've been waiting for this Grey Gardens movie.

Waiting to judge it.

Will I love it?

I adore the source material.

Will I hate it?

I despise Drew Barrymore. She is a movie-ruiner.

It's anyone's game at this point, but what's for sure and certain is that a shitton of gay men and I have been waiting for this event for a long time, and we're giddy with anticipation.

This man is clearly crazy, so I'd like to find and marry him.

2009-03-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously, this Derek Erdman guy's art is fanatical and his descriptions of it are even better.

And it's so affordable!

Example: this $50 painting of Paul McCartney eating a banana:

Description
Here's a 18"x18" painting of Paul McCartney eating a banana. Paul McCartney is wild about non-meat food items. He also divorced a one-legged woman. With a love like that you know you should be glad. I can't wait for lunch!

If you live in the Chicago area you are welcome to visit my studio to pick this item up after you buy it. I'll make tea and scones, NO JOKE. If you have questions, just ask. Also, I have an internet website: www.derekerdman.com. You can look at it for free.

I want to buy it, just so I can meet him and tell stories about it always.

And because I am also crazy about non-meat food items.

ahhhh. the walk of shame

2009-03-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

Ladies! The Walk of Shame Kit!

The Walk of Shame kit is a novelty gift that has fun with the fact that we have allmade our way home the next morning in the heels and party dress we had on the night before. We just try to help out with the bed head hair and smudged make up,and all of the other essentials a woman may need for the unexpected (or expected) sleepover.The kit includes a clutch bag that can be either your overnight bag or a purse, sunglasses, mirror, lace 'boy short' panties, a walk of shame condom, toothbrush, hair tie, face towel, hairbrush, and a pen to leave your number (or someone else's).

hahahahahahaha. awesome.

Lovely

2009-03-07T20:40:00.000-08:00

I am prepared for amazing things to happen.

I can handle it.

(photo from wisebread.com)

(quote from Me and You and Everyone We Know)

Our Work is Never Over

2009-03-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

(credit for this find goes to my little sister)

I'm only sad I didn't think of this first.

Because you KNOW that I would ABSOLUTELY spend the time working this out and practicing it, just to get a one-off video out of it. That's how I roll.

It takes about a minute to get going, but it's worth it, so be patient.

Plus, now I know all the words to this song.

NOOOOOO! I DIE!

2009-03-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

Do you know how I ran across

this article in The Cut

telling me I can't get that Rachel Zoe shirt I wanted?

I had finally decided to buy one!

Boooooooooooooo and thrice boo.

You may recall this brilliant, Rachel Zoe–inspired "Bananas" shirt designed by artist Christopher Sauvé. If you haven't gotten yours yet, it doesn't look like you're going to. Sauvé just received a cease-and-desist letter from Zoe's lawyer. It turns out "I die" and "Bananas" are trademarked. Oh, excuse us — that would be I DIE™ and BANANAS™. We don't want to get sued. That would be BANANAS™. WeI DIE™.

Sauvé had only made 25 shirts and was planning to sell them in very limited distribution online and at Seven boutique. "As a huge fan of Rachel Zoe I feel very sad that I couldn't express myself artistically with BANANAS™ and my fascination with reality television," Sauvé told us. I DIE™..."She uses celebrities every day to promote herself, and then she won't let a poor artist in the city do it in a huge recession with all these layoffs?"

*Le Groan.*

Let me at this business!

2009-03-06T12:06:00.001-08:00

iCream Cafe

(from today's Thrillist)

Hatched as a class project by two UofC b-schoolers, iCream's futuristically fatty idea was to let customers direct a customized process involving ice cream made from scratch, on-the-spot, using blasts of liquid nitrogen; after a 2-day August opening, their equipment blew a gasket, forcing them to re-up with $80K in shiny, 2nd Gen gear. How it works: select one of six liquid bases (ice cream, low-fat yogurt, shake, etc) for the dessert-jockey to pour into a beaker, plus up to three of the 30+ flavors (burnt sugar, peanut butter, ginger snap, pomegranate...), which're dispensed precisely from syringes, ; then choose sweetener (liquid sugar cane, honey) and, optionally and oddly, dropper-dispensed, food-safe, non-flavored coloring -- so no matter the flavor, it'll match the shirt you plan to drip it on. The concoction's then poured into an industrial mixer, and a computerized system directs an overhead “phase separator tank” to drop -320degree liquid nitrogen through vacuumed-jacketed tubing into the liquid, turning it into smooth, creamy goodness in 35-55 seconds. To pretty up your creation,opt for any of 25+ toppings & mixings, from Heath Bar to Nutella to gum balls -- resulting in an exhilarating minefield of desserts you should and shouldn't eat.

This is in Wicker Park.

Check out the menu here.

Bananas. I die.

from the gofug gals...

2009-03-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

HOW DID THEY KNOW THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I PLAYED BARBIES?!

HOLY CRAP!

"When I was a little girl, my grandmother had these pillows in her bedroom that I was OBSESSED with. They were peach, and they were covered in lace, with lace trim. They were VERY feminine and therefore made perfect staging areas on which my Barbies could try and strangle each other -- my Barbies led very dramatic, soap-operatic lives, which is to be expected when there are twenty women fighting over two men, one of whom was ostensibly married ... And so this peachy, lacy dress of Claire Danes brings me back to a happy time in my life. A time when I spent hours throwing dolls off the edge of my bed, getting them addicted to pain killers, and dreaming up complex love quandrangles for them (my mother used to let me watch All My Children with her during the summer and apparently, I was paying attention). But while I got great joy out of my Barbie funerals, and the shenanigans that led to them, just so you know, I would never actually want to DRESS LIKE ONE."

So, when I was a wee lil' Ashley, my nap time was after Young and the Restless (even though I would try to catch the first few minutes of Bold and the Beautiful) and I woke up and came downstairs just as the General Hospital theme song played. (GH would continue to be one of fave soaps for years to come.) When my Grandma babysat me, I would also get a dose of Days of our Lives.
Also, whenever I sat down to play Barbies, I would begin with, "Last time I played Barbies..." and would do a quick re-cap of the events of last playtime in order to progress the storyline.
I'm sure this explains a lot about my psyche.